The Equatorial Redneck Theory

December 10th, 2013 by The Doctor


Seasons Greetings citizens!

The Southern states of the USA are forever tied with redneck ignorant political attitudes, in much the same way we here in the Wonderful Land of Oz remember the corruption, racism and general backwardness of the Northern Queensland reign of Premier Joh Bjelke-Peterson and his cronies.

What is it about proximity to the equator and stupidity and bigotry? Is it the relentless heat, beating down on your reddening neck?

Now Queensland premier and former army major Campbell Newman is goose-stepping all over the rights of Bannana-benders, under the always handy excuse of “Cracking Down On Crime”.

I don’t know about you, but if I was involved in a criminal enterprise with a bunch of friends the absolute last thing we would do is all wear a uniform identifying us as members of that gang and travel together everywhere using the noisiest, most attention-attracting mode of transport. It’s not like Batman, where all the Penguins goons wear matching outfits and it takes the cops about .0001 of a second who figure out who robbed the bank using umbrella-guns.

So while Fuehrer Noddy Newman is grabbing media attention making all the bikers feel unwelcome in their home state, he can get back to fracking the shit out of the water table and erecting casinos or whatever dodgy schemes these hypocritical douche-bags get up to.

Like the pesky cane-toad this condescending, authoritarian bullshit creeps south of the border as Canberra and NSW are infested with ever more conservative right-wing arse-clowns and the systemic rape of the earth beneath our feet continues in an orgy of profit-grabbing, and the unique flora and fauna of the “Lucky Country” slip away forever.

The amusingly named “environment minister” just approved one of the worlds largest coal ports right next to the Great Barrier Reef!

And more coal-seam gas fracking!

Merry Christmas Australians!

 

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