The Social Lubricant

April 28th, 2012 by The Doctor

Hola, amigos!

Booze is a many slandered thing.

Wowsers and health freaks have been trying for years (with some success) to demonise that most wondrous elixir – alcohol. I personally don’t suggest that you go out and drink like an Englishman until you get into a fist fight and wake up without your trousers in an alley covered in blood and vomit.


I am talking about the civilised drunken gathering that goes on for rather too long until everyone forgets about going to work the next day.
When you are in a bar everybody is more interesting, funnier and better looking. As the booze flows, so does the conversation, new acquaintances become friends and confidantes over a shared glass or three.
Music sounds better, greasy midnight kebabs taste like marvellous gourmet creations and any girl showing a bit of cleavage becomes a sexual magnet of Large Hadron Collider proportions.

If I go too long without a drink I start to hate all the other faceless selfish annoying people around me. I become convinced that they are all evil, moronic bastard scum who are scheming against me and all that is good in the world.

  The magical effect of booze puts everyone on the same level (too much = the floor) – it breaks down inhibitions and allows people to enjoy the kind of ill-advised random sexual encounters that would not happen in an alcohol-free world.

The Doctor prescribes you don’t attempt to drive home afterwards!

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