The Unkindest Cut

October 15th, 2011 by The Doctor

Welcome back, Kulture Vultures!

I have a brilliant idea.

When a baby girl is born we should just cut off her labia!

No anaesthetic. Snip! Snip!

Its much more hygenic, looks better and The Flying Spaghetti Monster told me to do it.


Why does The Flying Spaghetti Monster want me to do this? Because  I am special and my children are special. You should all really do it too!
The Flying Spaghetti Monster and I were having a chat the other day and he said to me,¬† “you know, Doctor Maz, you are a great guy and if you could see your way through to disfiguring the genitals of your female children that would let me know that you really love me.”

I am sure that it would make those special naughty bits easier to clean and reduce the risk of cancer of the labia in much the same way as removing your toes would stop you getting tinea. It would look great and soon catch on to the point where everyone would be doing it to their helpless infants without even blinking.

If you really feel that God wants you to mutilate the genitals of your children, why dont you wait until they are, say twenty one and let them decide if they want to be circumcised?
Imagine being at your 21st party, after you’ve smoked a couple of bongs and drank your own body weight in beer, then out come the scissors and the gaffa tape.

“So, are you sure you wanna go through with this, dude? ”

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